Lessons...from the past
August 25, 2003 - 23:00
Today,I recalled a lot of things.I spent time with someone who meant the world to me and we sat down and talked.We shared,we communicated.We reflected on the past,the present,we told of dreams for the future.I told this friend,a lot of feelings which I have never revealed.We learnt,a lot of things about ourselves.And at the end of the day,I'd like to tell her,I admire you for what you have shown me you are capable of.
Looked back on the past.Recalled the times where I fell,in studies,in relationships,in kindship,in friendship.Where I stumbled and lost direction.There were days when "love" meant everything.Perceiving parents as the devil's advocate just because they wanted to break us up for studies.What did studies meant at that time?How could we forgetten that being a student,our main role was to excel in our studies!When we were younger,we had the courage,the energy,the spirit to let emotions flood the head,for happiness at that moment,was worth failing a test,getting a scolding..was once all worth it.Silly,to think of it now.That at the very end,I did not graduate with the flying numbers of As dad expected me to.At the very end,he didn't make it to medicine.
Was it a dream dashed or a relationship worth?Life,has proven to be more than worldly love.
I made it through the depressed,gloomy days,with the help of classmates.Really great friends who lent a helping hand,simply by being there.They may not have offer much advice nor be able to share personal experience,but they lent listening ear and company,that was the crucial element to surviving that period.I credit this to them.
Later,I fell in love with a person,whom right from the start,was not meant to be.But I persisted.What did I want to prove?That I can do it.That we can make it.That others' disapproving looks can be beaten.We enjoyed wild fun.Pure thrill,rich excitement.We endured long nights out,testing the limits,enjoying each other's company.Did not think of the future.Didn't dare to,wouldn't want to.I thought I could handle a short term relationship.I thought I could treat it as a fling.I thought that letting go will be easy.And thus,I landed myself in a one way ticket to disaster.
There's many lessons in life,I have learnt.
To heed dad and mum's advice,lies on top of the list.
By the way,Chris and Kay Sing,my dad really hoped I will come home for dinner.He brewed my favourite potato soup.And he was up,awaiting to reheat the soup for me,when I came home at 11pm.Parents' love,is never failing.