Bye bye
October 10, 2003 - 20:17
Here I am,sitting @ home.Doing nothing more than slacking.Given up the option of meeting up with friends over supper.Gave up meeting up with neighbour for a drink or two.Was too lazy to join family on stroll in the park.Today is simply a lazy and unmotivated one.At least for the ending.Kinda demoralized over the paper earlier this day!
Having the weird feeling on this kind of night.Don't really know the term for this feeling.Just sitting down and thinking about a lot of things and people.From the past mainly.Thinking about my funny attitude towards my old friends,how I aren't really keen to meet up after a while.After I move on with life,after we end up in different direction.Maybe it's just my ego.Or the feeling that someone else has done better in life than you.Can't stomach that.I can be such a pig.
I didn't forget about them.I miss them.
I just don't know what I really want.Haha.Bye bye,will be away in JB for the weekend. =)
free partying
October 10, 2003 - 09:21
77th Street membership card is not called the GetaLife card for nothing.I'm now entitled to free entry to Centro every weekend.Plus one free drink!Then again,getting a life doesn't mean clubbing and I think I won't be able to grab decent people out every sat night.
Kel contacted me last night.much to my amusement,but to no adverse effect.And it all boils down to the "I'm fine,thank-you" exchanges.I guess we are both unwilling to find out more about how each other is doing too.Just good to know,the person you left behind,is still alive and kicking.
Yes,thanks Noel.=)
Hey,I'm not coping
October 09, 2003 - 17:53
I don't know if school work is getting to me,or the Jb trip... or tests.Maybe everything adding up.Today didn't end well,upon reaching home,I just had to break down.
I may not show the effect of stress openly on my face to my friends and lover,but I,too am a really normal,slightly bimbo-tic,human.Sometimes,it's gets to me too.Stress,work,disappointment,worries,anxiety,hurt.
Broke down.Got teary.As a result,went into a round of questioning by father.But I choose to lock myself up in my room.And talk to my blog.Perhaps,I haven't tried hard enough,but some things are not easy to get across to your parent.Especially someone who constantly remind you that, you cannot afford to lose the scholarship.
Turning to friends for support is one funny mattter.You've got to pick the right ones.Those who are free.Anyway,I know they have their headaches too.I don't like to unload my troubles onto my friends.They have enough of their own.Somemore,I hope to be able to lighten my boyfriend's load instead of adding to it.I didn't know it will be this hard,to juggle the circumstances he is in and to be understanding.Just want things to be the best it can be for him.
Missing Dylan.
Back to work,I am breaking down.
On the issue of weight...
October 08, 2003 - 20:37
If husbands were meant to manifest various DIY roles around the house, then boyfriends have to start learning those roles early.
Mine shown the ability to double up as a cobbler today.Saved my day of limping around on a loose sole.Saved my money too.Hohoho.
Received a post card from Yiyi today.I am determined to have a good meal with her.Quality time,by hook or crook,next weekend.I need to get back to church too.
I seriously need to get some exercise.Am analysing the elements that made me lost so much weight during my CNB days and do not understand why it cannot be accomplished back here.I used to eat a lot too wat... how come?
Light-heartedness
October 07, 2003 - 18:10
I am seriously mugging.=)
Would say it was a good day.With all the elements of studying,spending time with loved ones,coming home for dinner,watching Tv and a good night sleep ahead.We are lucky people.
I am proud of him.Sometimes,it amazes me how he manages to handle so many things.Well, he does act funny sometimes when stress gets to the head,but bet I will be more whiny and crazy should I be in similar situation.When times are hard and we found ourselves on rocky roads,he still assured and settled my heart.I don't know how he did it.I am grateful,for the light-heartedness that accompanied me through the day,so that I can concentrate on my books and know that,our relationship'll make it through.
Anyway,I downloaded a song from Kazaa yesterday.Was scared though.haha!I will absolutely die if I have to go back to buying CDs.
This weekend is all gone from the JB trip.Hai.
Changes
October 06, 2003 - 20:07
It was a good day.Among all the stressful moments of the approaching exmas, we made some time to sit around Cartel PS.. and guess that settled my heart and it's mugging time!
Hey Christine,all the best for your driving test tomorrow! Honestly,I will be so envious of you if you gotten that license tomorrow!But still,I pray hard hard you do!If can grab a car,I stay at Hougang St 31 k.=)
Realised I missed so much of TV that I absolutely do not know what's going on in Holland V.Finally it's not a typical romantic storylines etc,quite realistic and since it's realistic,it's quite sad.Somtimes,I'd rather watch silly float-in-the-air drama,that allows me to escape into that darn world of make-believe.
It's been months since I left CNB.Days merging into weeks,and weeks into months.
Many things had changed.
Feeling desperate
October 05, 2003 - 19:21
I regret not visiting my grandpa these days.That on occasions where he wanted so badly to see me, I have been absent. That the last 2 Chinese New year,I have not done my part as a grandchild.
And I am afraid,it is too late for me now.He will not be able to see the next Chinese New Year.
I know,he loved me the dearest among all grandchildren.I am such a disappointment.
After losing my paternal granddad early this year,I am on the verge of losing my maternal grandpa.
I want to be in Johor with him right now.But I can't.Feeling desperate.