Realisation...
November 18, 2003 - 23:22
I want to forget you.I want the wind to blow away your image in my mind.Your place in my heart,your voice in my ear.I want to forget you.
I didn't work to forget you.I simply put you aside.Then I thought you were gone from me for good.And one day,I woke up,and I realised,I simply put you aside.
You have to go now.I have to forget you.I have to forget dreams I had of you,plans for the future,which will all never ever come true.I will remember,that I chose to leave you.The day we parted at the bus stop,the day I told you,that I am leaving you.And we got on two different buses.Sometimes,I still remember the pain.Sometimes,I hate myself,for meeting you,then for leaving you.Our lives led down different path...I told you,we were people from different world.
I found courage now to forget you.Because enough time has passed,because there's someone else worthy of me forgetting you.Because I need to be responsible for him too.Because I live in the present and I cannot dwell in the past anymore.Because I want to be happy again,to laugh again,to feel blessed and bouncy.
I want him to be happy too.To be happy with me.To be happy with us.I want to devote care and love towards him.I found someone who has touched me with his sincerity and selfless love.These 2 months with him has shown me,that he is worth it.
So I am willing to let him secure a nice comfortable place in my heart.
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Am back from a nice evening out sitting in Starbucks with Dylan.Brought one nutritious meal for him,home-cooked by my mum.Towards the end of our time there,did I realised we were bitten so terribly by mosquitoes!It's still itching now.
I hope that we will both have one very good night sleep tonight. (",)