Whining ahead.. nothing serious.. just unwinding =p

November 28, 2003 - 01:08

We had a funny bad time today.And suddenly,I feel that I am forced to grow up.I'm not ready to.But I know,it's hard for me to remain as childlike as now,when he has already abandoned that stage of life.While I am still in the happy-go-lucky teens years,I am dating someone who is in his adulthood.Someone who is already in the midst of the struggle of life and money,who's filled with logic and reason.Suddenly,everything seems to change.

While I enjoyed long rides in wee hours of the nights..riding up changi hill to peep at couples,driving around the village staring at transexuals..I haven't done that in a long time.I loved midnight shows,hanging around cafe till there's no choice but to pay the midnight charge..having supper,watching sunrise because we absolutely ran out of cash..those days are missing too.

Now i worry about missing the last bus..and we structured our programs around when the trains stop running.I only get walked home when there's a next bus arriving.I eat supper alone,or with neighbours.My phone stops ringing after 10.I go to places only because there is public transport.Movie tickets ,cabs are expensive.I know they are.I am trying to adapt.Once in a while,I just can't take it.

My life has restrictions,rules and regulations overnight.I am not used to it...and now I realised,we don't have the fun and luxury of excitement.. I feel too grown-up.Too eaten up.

I will have to learn to live with it.Because life has come to a point where it is impossible to go back to the past, or to live without him. I just need to whine.And unwind ok?

I am enjoying instead,the stability of truth and faith.Of what we have.It is a different life,but it is in its own way,a more meaningful and peaceful life.Filled with nights of bringing soup to raffles place and long bus trips home.

Maybe,I will be happier.Who knows?

At least this time,my love is well returned and faithfully guarded.I must say he gave me more security then anyone else in my life.Lucky me.=)

*end of whining*

Tired tired day

November 27, 2003 - 20:32

I'm so sleepy and tired.And mummy is making me bring tonic soup for Dylan.So I am gonne be good and tag myself out of the house soon... to Raffles place.. (not whining..seriously not whining..)

Played pool today but I think I walked too much already so concentration was really bad and I keep doing silly things.An absolute disgrace!

Really hate going down there tomorrow.. really hate it..so early and so bored.Being secretary was fun.. coz I was doing nothing but eating all the free chocolates and giving them out too.Hoho.

Bought one more top today.. I made a resolution to JL that I will be wearing all my top at least once then will I buy new pieces.=)