Of a joyful heart
December 15, 2003 - 13:18
I think I am pretty insane to ask for instant gratification.And in that tone,expected that Dylan will be able to suddenly turn into who I want him to be?It's really irritating of me to act as such a spolit brat.I do hope for him to forgive me,and that I will work on this part of me,which seriously irritated many others too.
We somewhat hit a patch of our relationship where a bit of confusion and hurt set in.On reflection,I find that I handled the situation pretty unwisely.I think it was hurting and I couldn't control my emotions very well.But on second thoughts,it was hurting to him too and I didn't take into consideration his feelings.Here again,I cannot demand instant results and that we will be able to spring back into a joyful heart immediately after all that turmoil.I hope that time will settle our heart and remind us of the precious love we worked for and the moments where we enjoyed each other's company so intensely.
I ask for a trial to strengthen us,not break us.Like I always believe,all things in time,time will reveal.
I give thanks for these struggles.For reciprocal love is something many craved for and seldom received,and we have it in our hands.Dylan and I are very fortunate people.
My feelings..
December 13, 2003 - 23:41
Now that You're near,everything's different..
Spiritual awakening
Nothing beats the feeling of being among brothers and sisters in Christ,of Christians coming together for a time of worship and sincere sharing.The sharing times were especially touching for each of us put down all our guards to the world and be vulnerable and share.There was just a time of listening and praying for each other.And it amazes me to know that beneath the surface of each of us,that's a soft side which we are willing to show.Of confessions of sins,quietly to our Father.Like logs of wood burning together.The spirit was high.We were all at our spiritual high.
Prayers
One of the most precious things I took home was the importance of prayers.That prayers is not about flowery language or saying Amen like a "to send" button.These are just formalities.God just wants to know our heart,it is the attitude of our heart that matters."Stop offering meaningless offerings!Your incense is detestable to me."And I felt personally the importance of communicating to God,that talking to Him,enriches my walk with Him.
I was particularly very much touched when Dylan and I met for dinner and had a good prayer time together.I truly felt how fortunate it is that we worship the same God.That we can walk in His light hand in hand.
Witnessing
The well learnt sentence is that Success in witnessing is simply taking the initiative to share the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God.
Well in the past,I was quite reluctant to share Christ and didn't felt it was a personal calling to do so,I am indeed impacted that we must take the effort to plant a seed and allow the chance that in the future,someone else can come along and water it.That one day,it will blossom into a plant.Witnessing starts today,for there is much urgency to search and recover lost brothers and sisters.If I lost my sister,I will definitely search for her today and not after a long time!
My street Evangalism experience was very very encouraging and I credit it to God for sending those souls to me.got to know a few of the campers better too,on the trip.=)
Brothers and sisters
When I was travelling along the prayer journey thingy,I was reminded of how fortunate I am to be surrounded of people who will draw me closer to God.It amazes me that me that my closest friends are all fellow Christians.=)
Special thanks
Of course the biggest thanks go out to God.And there's someone who was very supportive and helpful through the 5 days...Dylan!For coming in on monday to visit me and pass me the stuff,for passing me the blanket when the nights get cold,for fetching me home with my heavy bags on breakcamp day.You are the greatest guy around!
The most important thing,that mean the most to me,is for opening your heart in surrendering this relationship to the Lord.For a shared joy is a double joy and a shared burden's half a burden.God sent you to me,for a reason.
I do hope that in my days with Campus Crusade for Christ,Dylan will be supportive of our cause and be a moral support to me.=)
Amen.
Hi I'm back
December 13, 2003 - 23:27
hi I'm finally back.It's been 6 great days and impacted my life greatly.Will talk about it later.Now,kinda drained and tired.Here's a look at my terrific group in camp!
really got to thank Dylan,Noel and Shiyi for supporting me in going..haha..to get a chance to have a good spiritual awakening.=)